FF Challenge June 24th – When the Sky Cries

Welcome to my newly revamped site. Glad you dropped by for this weeks Friday Fictioneers Challenge. In brief, this challenge is to write a story 100 words or less based on a photo prompt. Please take a moment to visit our host Rochelle Wisoff-Fields site for all the rules.

This week’s photo is brought to you courtesy of  Ted Struzt. All photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission.

Care to read other inventive stories please click HERE.

Now my 99 word story –

FF June 23 17
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Reflecting events, the sky is inconsolable, tears rain down darkening my mood. I thump the steering wheel in time with the wiper blades. I need to prepare, to gather my thoughts.

Explaining my job was hopeless. “You’re a stockbroker, making loads of money. Me, I’m a Recovery Diver for the Coast Guard,” ends in looks of revulsion when they figure out what I recover.

Unanswered questions strike like lightning bolts. Seven are missing. Shrouded in darkness, knowing what I will find, I will grope for answers. I can’t offer hope but maybe I can bring comfort from knowing.

This weeks story was loosely based on the tragic and inexplicable collision of the USS Fitzgerald with a container ship that left seven sailors dead. Stories like this haunt me partly because it should never have happened and maybe a little because my son is in the Canadian navy and has been deployed to the Mediterranean and Black Sea for the last 6 months. My heart goes out to all the sailors on the Fitzgerald and their families.

Thanks for reading. Before you go please leave me a comment by clicking the link below the LIKE section. 🙂

Cheers,

Cindy

 

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39 thoughts on “FF Challenge June 24th – When the Sky Cries

  1. Dear Cindy,

    Such a tragedy. My husband is a USNavy vet. None of my sons served in the military but, as a mother and a wife, I can only imagine the agony. Very well written. Perfect POV.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    1. Thank you so much Rochelle. I think being a Navy wife would be harder then a navy mother. I feel for his girlfriend left behind. And thank you for the generous comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed the story, Cindy. My goes out to the loved ones in such a tragedy. I once visited with a local diver who was in the business of recovering bodies. Not for me, but I’m glad someone is willing to do so for the sake of those families.

    I stumbled a bit in the second paragraph. What did the line about the stockbroker have to do with the story? I didn’t get the connection. To me, it seemed unnecessary and you would have had extra words further express the driver’s anxieties. – Just my two cents worth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank for your two cents. I really appreciate input. Your point is valid. As I reworked this story that line did lose impact. I was going for the contrast of someone working for money and someone who does what they do for other reasons combined with how people don’t understand his job. But if I have to explain it, it didn’t work.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Not at all please do let me know when you see something that doesn’t work in a story.

        Like

  3. I was going to ask about that, too, what did the stockbroker have to do with it? Did you intend him as a passenger in the car talking with the diver?
    As others have said, I’m glad there are people willing to deal with these situations. I feel bad for police firefighters, too, trying to recover bodies. The public calls them heroes for awhile, but then media attention shifts and they are left to deal with the memories. I like your diver’s attitudes; he’s really offering hope and closure to the families.

    Like

    1. Thanks Christine, glad you found the story engaging. There are so many heroic people doing jobs we mere mortals don’t want to do. The line with the stock broker was meant as a memory of a conversation about his job. I appreciate you questioning it, that’s how I’ll improve.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, it doesn’t make any sense with all the technology and the destroyer would have sailors standing watch. Hopefully it will make sense when they announce the result of the investigation.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. When I heard about this, my first thought was, How the hell does that happen? It’s not like they’re going 100 miles per hour… I was so saddened by it.
    Your story is sadly wonderful (and I got the comparison between two types of jobs…)

    Like

  5. I liked how you used the prompt, yours was different and unusual. … I also understood the link about differing career choices.

    Like

    1. Thanks for the compliment Michael. Thanks for letting me know that line worked for you. I value all comments positive or negative.

      Like

  6. Someone has to do the recovery work, don’t they? That doesn’t make it easy. I’m sure your son will be okay. My father and brother were both Chiefs in the U.S. Navy. Good writing Cindy. —- Suzanne

    Like

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